


No, Siri

by pathera



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Siri doesn't work for anyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 06:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4009528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pathera/pseuds/pathera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Siri is decidedly unhelpful, Matt is not amused, and Foggy finds it absolutely hilarious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No, Siri

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Сири, нет](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5612740) by [leoriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoriel/pseuds/leoriel)



> This prompt was too good to pass up. Thanks for reading!
> 
> For [this](http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/725.html?thread=1076181#cmt1076181) prompt: is it me or is siri not built to accomodate, like, ANYONE?
> 
> just matt having a really bad time using someone else's iphone and trying to figure out why the fuck the voice recognition service is so fucking bad

“Bring up statute of limitation laws on tax fraud in New York,” Matt says clearly.

“Showing top three results for Statue of Liberty tours in New York,” Siri says cheerfully back, and Foggy has to shove his fist against his mouth to keep from laughing at the look on Matt’s face.

“STATUTE of LIMITATIONS on TAX FRAUD,” Matt emphasizes, bringing the phone closer to his mouth.

“Statues of Lenin in Tajikistan,” Siri comes back with. She sounds so proud of herself.

“No,” Matt says helplessly. “Why.”

“I’m sorry, were you looking for the definition of the word why or information on the American rock band?”

Matt’s face contorts and his grip on the phone tightens. Foggy sniggers and tries to turn it into a cough, but the flat look Matt sends his way suggests he wasn’t super successful at hiding his amusement.

“I’m looking for the statute of limitations on tax fraud, you useless brick of plastic,” Matt announces.

“Showing a list of bricklayers and masons who work in the area!” Siri chirps, and Matt actually _growls_.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that,” Siri says.

“Help,” Matt says, and Foggy knows that one is aimed at him, although Siri is eager to offer her services as well, saying, “If you are in need of emergency services, I can dial 9-1-1.”

“I’m going to throw it across the room,” Matt promises, and Foggy grins.

“Don’t you dare. It’s not _my_ fault you went swimming with your phone.”

Matt gives him a wounded look. “I got thrown in a river, Foggy.”

Foggy shrugs. “That is also not my fault. You leave my phone alone.”

Matt sighs and brings the phone up for one last try. “Statute of limitations on tax fraud,” he says, his voice hopeful.

“Here’s a list of liquor stores in Freeport, Texas.”

Matt makes an inarticulate sound of rage and chucks the phone at Foggy. It bounces off his chest, clattering onto the desk, but Foggy is laughing too hard to care, not even trying to hide it anymore.

“I hate you,” Matt mutters, and stalks from the room.

“Love you!” Foggy calls after him, still laughing.

“Thank you,” Siri says from the desk, “but I don’t think it will work between us.”

“Shut up, Siri!” Matt shouts from the other room. “No one asked you!”


End file.
